is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
