I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
