i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
