bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
