Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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