it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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