I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
