I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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