I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
