btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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