dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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