One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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