Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
