I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
