an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
