it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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