things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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