I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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