Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
