1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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