you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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