1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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