I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
