Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
