i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Drunk is not a location!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
