Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize