I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
