How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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