That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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