I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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