I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
