people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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