She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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