Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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