im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
