alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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