Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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