bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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