Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
