i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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