I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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