That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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