I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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