I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
