Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There r osticjed everywhere
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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