I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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