Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
