I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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