I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
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I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude