Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
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Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
we're so committed to being not committed