How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I need water and some morals