I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
