Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
