i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
