How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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