Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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