come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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